My Secret Diary

 

10th April

 

6:00 AM:          I am devastatingly heartbroken. My life is in ruins. There’s no point in living any more. But I’m also incredibly hungry. Got Skirt out of bed to serve my breakfast. It was Supreme-of-Synthetic-Wild-Salmon-in-a-Ginger-Soufflé-with-Colouring-Preservatives-Plus-Basil-and-Oregano - surprisingly it almost tasted like real food. I demanded another three portions.

 

11:59 PM:        I was in mourning all day for my lost happiness. Apart from eating and sleeping I did nothing. Due to my insatiable hunger I had eight meals at home and a huge plate of fresh haggis with Old-Grey-Fur. It’s odd how sadness makes you hungry - the sadness muscles must be located in the stomach.

 

 



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