My Secret Diary


11th July


Today’s the day I teach Lucky and Polly some important lessons. I’ll show Polly that he can’t mess with cats - especially with an influential member of the Cosa Nostra. At the same time I’ll show Lucky how to deal with pesky pirate parrots.


As Lucky watched eagerly from the doorway, I crept stealthily across the room. Polly saw nothing as I made my way silently past her perch, jumped onto a chair and climbed to the top of the bookcase. Polly sat on her perch below me, oblivious to the fact that she was about to be pulverized.

I prepared myself mentally for the attack, crouched down, and leapt with all my might. But just as I was about to land on top of her, she decided to fly round the room. Frantically I tried to grab her but landed on the perch instead. I balanced precariously on the narrow bar, wondering what had gone wrong with my plan. It was at this precise moment in time that Lucky’s humans elected to enter the room. They stared at me as if I was some sort of mass murderer. To make matters worse, Polly landed beside me, pecked me gently on the mouth, and squealed, “Polly has a boyfriend. Adrian loves Polly.” How embarrassing,



My humans have been extra, extra, extra nice to me. Perhaps they sense my new status as an important gang member.


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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!


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Medusa Island

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