My Secret Diary

 

13th February

 

Resumed Bratís training. As cat of the house it is my responsibility to ensure that Heís properly educated in cat etiquette. Todayís lesson was on personal hygiene. Brat had just finished a huge piece of cake and his mouth and cheeks were completely covered in chocolate and cream. I began the lesson with a demonstration - I licked my paws and carefully wiped the fur around my mouth. Brat giggled. I repeated the demonstration - Brat giggled even more loudly. I really donít think he takes his lessons seriously. Undaunted, I persevered, this time showing him how to wash face, neck and tail. He made absolutely no effort to clean himself. In the end I had to lick him clean myself, which was a lot of hard work but, admittedly, very tasty.

 

There is some confusion over my chair. Trousers thinks that he is allowed to sit on it. I gave him the evil-eye several times but he was too busy watching television to even notice. I will confront him about his impertinence very soon.



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