My Secret Diary


14th June


11:20 AM:        Snowball has given me a diet and exercise plan. Each day I must:

Walk 2 kilometers.

Jump on and off a chair 20 times.

Eat only two meals.


She must really, really like me a lot to go to all the trouble of creating this nutritionally balanced plan.


7:50 PM:          I asked Lucky if he believes in ghosts. He replied, “Belief is merely the affirmation of, or a conviction regarding, the truth of a proposition, especially when one is not in possession of evidence adequate to justify a claim that the proposition is known with certainty. What you really wish to know is the probability of ghosts existing. Using Bayesian Paradigm for statistical inference it is possible to create a probability distribution based on data from tests and observations which allows the inference about the value of the true unknown. In the case of ghosts the probability distribution indicates that the likelihood of there being ghosts is somewhere between, ‘Don’t be stupid!’ and ‘Aaaaaarrgghhh! Help! My body has been possessed by an evil demon!’”

What nonsense, sometimes Lucky says what he doesn’t mean.


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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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Medusa Island

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