My Secret Diary

 

16th July

 

10:00 AM:        No! No! No! This can’t be happening! Someone must have grassed on me! I’ve been thrown into prison! It’s called Cattery-Prison and it’s a grim, dark place; from my tiny cell I can see row upon row of cells, each one filled with an evil, hardened criminal. This is a nightmare. I’d cry but I’m afraid the other inmates will hear and think that I’m weak.

 

4:25 PM:          During exercise break I was allowed out of my cell and was able to walk around the securely fenced exercise area. There were a number of other inmates there too. I was rather nervous that one might attack me but everyone was very civilized. I expect criminals have a code of honor. I met a pretty, grey Tonkinese called Duno Wong. She doesn’t look like a criminal but she admitted that a few days before being detained she had climbed onto the kitchen table and eaten a huge cream cake. Her humans must have shopped her - how terribly uncaring.

We spoke in hushed voices so as not to attract the attention of the guard.

“What are you in for?” she whispered.

“Stealing a woolly-blue-thingy-with-a-small-tinkly-bell.” I replied.

“Why did you steal that?” she asked, in an almost mocking voice.

“Everything has its purpose,” I replied coolly, not wanting to reveal that I am part of an organized criminal gang.

She told me that no one has had a trial or knows for how long they are to be imprisoned.

 

11:55 PM:        I can’t sleep. I’m too scared.  There could be a murderer in the next cell for all I know! I wish I could climb into my warm, cozy bed and cuddle up against my humans. Life is so unjust!

 



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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

Extracts:
The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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Philosophy for Cats
My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!

 

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Medusa Island

 
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