My Secret Diary

 

18th February

 

Spent today reflecting on what it means to be a cat and the conditions necessary for us to lead fulfilled and happy lives. Iíve created a list which Iíve called Adrianís Hierarchy of Needs.

 

For a healthy, contented life a catís needs are:

 

1)      Physiological: We must have lots and lots of sleep, more food than we could ever eat, plenty of sleep, loads of fresh cream and oodles and oodles of sleep.

2)      Safety: We need to live in a dog free environment. If all dogs were transported to Pluto the Earth would be a much happier place.  

3)      Love: We must be worshiped by everyone - especially by Snowball. 

4)      Esteem: We have to be aloof and condescending at all times.

5)      Cognitive: We must have the freedom to explore any and every box.

6)      Aesthetic: We need to create works of art by scratching wallpaper.

7)      Self-actualization:  We need to excel at catching mice, voles, rats and multicolored-feather-things-with-a-string-attached.

8)      Transcendence: We need to help our humans find self-fulfillment by showing them a little affection - occasionally.

 



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