10:00 PM: No peace again! Brat-2 is so
noisy his tonsils must be breaking the sound barrier.
11:00 PM: To a background of
screeching and yelling, I wrote a letter to the Queen:
In your Royal Isolation at the Crystal
Palace, you are probably unaware of the problems that afflict
your subjects. I wish to bring to your attention the fact that
there is a terrible outbreak of Nappy-Rash sweeping the country.
You may recall that in 1665 the Great Plague wiped out half of
London and left the other half guilt ridden for not dying. I
feel that if you do not act immediately Nappy-Rash could become
the new great plague. It is certainly stopping me from getting
Yours Sincerely Adrian Cat.
P.S. While you are fixing the Nappy-Rash
problem could you also have Killer hung, drawn and quartered for
terrorizing the neighborhood and ruining my love life.
11:50 PM: Placed letter beside the
Post Box. It is a very regal red box with the Queen’s personal
initials carved on the front; QE 11. On the back of the
box, in yellow paint are the words, ‘Big Bob was here.’ I expect
Big Bob must be one of the Queen’s close friends.
She will get my letter soon - it’s very