My Secret Diary

 

19th July

 

10:00 AM:        Had a chat with the prisoner in the cell to my left. She’s in for scratching wallpaper. She’s completely distraught. At home she only ever eats table-scraps and now she’s being forced to eat Faux-Venison-with-Caviar-Substitute-in-a-Roast-Nutmeg-Sauce - a severe punishment indeed.

I expect that Snowball is pining for me. I hope she’s not too miserable but in a way I hope she is.

 

5:00 PM:          Macavity has devised a brilliant plan which is sure to work. He has paid two cats to start a fight when the guard enters the room. During the distraction we’ll make a run for the open door and be free before the guard realizes what’s happened.

It’s great to know that in just a day or two I will be free again! I am missing Snowball more than a tree misses its leaves in autumn.



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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

Extracts:
The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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Philosophy for Cats
My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!

 

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Medusa Island

 
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