My Secret Diary

 

20th July

 

9:30 AM:          A new cat has just been brought in, crying dreadfully and protesting her innocence. As the guards locked her in her cell she kept shouting that she hadn’t done anything wrong. A likely story.

 

10:44 AM:        She’s still crying.

 

1:30 PM:          I spoke to the new inmate. Her name is Princess - she’s a beautiful ginger Abyssinian. She acts and talks rather snootily but otherwise seems nice. To cheer her up I told her about Suffragette, Lucky and all the kittens. At last I got her to stop crying and even managed to make her smile. She told me that she enters cat competitions all over the country and has won lots and lots of prizes. She’s terrified that while she’s  in here her fur will not be groomed properly and she’ll never be able to enter another show.

 

4:45 PM:          Macavity is making the final arrangements for the escape. We go tomorrow.

 



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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

Extracts:
The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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Medusa Island

 
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