My Secret Diary

 

22nd July

 

10:00 AM:        So far I have not been punished. The guards in here are experts in mental cruelty. No doubt, when I’m least expecting it, they’ll slam me into solitary and leave me on my own for days, without food, water or any form of intellectual stimulation. I can’t bear the tension of not knowing what’s going to happen.

 

10:50 AM:        Macavity has been caught! He’s back in his cell!

 

1:40 PM:            Macavity explained that he couldn’t remember his way home. He walked not stop all day and night. In the morning, exhausted and hungry, he sneaked into a house to steal food. But the silly thing had walked round in a circle and broken into the guard house next to Cattery-Prison. 

 

2:12 PM:          Houdini and four other cats mysteriously disappeared this afternoon!!!

 



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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

Extracts:
The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!

 

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Medusa Island

 
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