My Secret Diary

 

25th March

(National C.A.T. Day.)

 

Being C.A.T. Day it is my duty to undertake the annual adjustment of my humans to Cat Appreciation Time. Humans being crepuscular prefer to sleep during the night. This is extremely inconvenient as we are nocturnal. Annual training helps the human internal clock adjust to C.A.T.

 

This is my training timetable:

 

0:00 –2:30 AM:             Played ‘attack’ with Trousers’ toes.

2:30 –2:32 AM:             Demanded to get out.

2:32 –2:40  AM:            Stood in doorway deciding whether to bother going out.

2:40 –2:53  AM:            Went out - very, very slowly.

2:55 –3:10  AM:            Demanded to get in.

3:25 –3:45 AM:             Demanded to be fed – but didn’t eat.

4:00 –4:05  AM:            Demanded to get out.

4:12 –4:15  AM:            Demanded to get in.

4:30 –4:45  AM:            Paced the room, moaning and crying as if in terrible pain.

                                                Stopped when Skirt mentioned the vet.

5:00 –5:03  AM:            Demanded to be fed – gulped my food down.

5:04 –5:08  AM:            Demanded to be fed again.

5:12 –7:00  AM:            Savaged the pillows, the duvet, Trousers and Skirt.

7:01 AM -11:55 PM:   Slept soundly in the knowledge that my duties are over for another year.



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