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6:00 AM: Woke my humans up and
demanded to be fed.
6:08 AM: Skirt opened another tin of
Sham-Spam-Meat-Substitute-Ultra-Low-Budget-Rubbish-
For-People-Who-Don’t-Really-Like-Cats food and put some in my
dish.
6:10 AM: Stuffed my mouth with the
vile concoction and headed for the dining room.
6:12 AM: Spat the ‘food’ out, making
sure it went all over the new carpet and the wallpaper.
6:15 AM: Collapsed on the floor and
pretended to be dead.
6:18-6:32 AM: Made choking noises
as Skirt nursed me in her lap.
6:35-7:01 AM: Trousers went
hunting in his car and returned with proper expensive food.
7:02-7:42 AM: Ate enough food to
last a week!
10:00 PM: My performance
today was so amazing I am seriously considering becoming an
actor.
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