My Secret Diary


29th July


I was sitting under the rowan tree, minding my own business when a baby robin fell from the tree and landed on my head. He jumped off, sat in front of me and stared into my eyes.

“I can fly,” he tweeted, “. . . well almost.”

As I sat deciding whether to eat him immediately or keep him for later he chirped, “I’m Bobin, will you be my friend?”

“I can’t,” I said.

“Why?” he said.

“Because,” I said.

“Why?” he said.

 “Because I’m a cat,” I said.

“Why?” he said.

 “Because nature made me that way,” I said.

“Why?” he said.

 “Because nature decides everything about all the animals,” I said.

“Why?” he said.

This went on for ages until, in desperation, I agreed to be his friend,

“I’m hungry,” he said.

I ignored him.

“Food!” he insisted.

I ignored him.

“Food!” he demanded.

I ignored him.

“Food!” he pleaded, with a chirp so piercing it made my brain go numb.

I went to look for food.

Luckily I found a huge worm. I chopped it into pieces and popped them into his beak.

He sat looking quite happy for about four seconds then shrieked, “Food!!”

I decided I’d better find his parents and began searching the garden. I looked everywhere. I tried behind the shed and the greenhouse. I looked in every tree. I even sneaked into neighboring gardens but his parents were nowhere to be seen. At last I thought I’d better go back to guard the poor little thing. When I got to the rowan tree he was sitting on a branch with his mummy.

Seeing me coming he said, “Cat is my friend.”

“He can’t be your friend,” said his mummy.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I say so,” said his mummy.

“Okay,” he said.



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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!


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Medusa Island

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