My Secret Diary

 

3rd August

 

As I rested under the rowan tree, Bobin landed on a branch above me.

“Fly up and sit with me,” he said.

“I can’t,” I replied.

“Why?”

“Because cats can’t fly.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re not birds.”

“Why?”

“Because nature wanted some creatures to live in the trees and some to live on the ground”

“Why?”

It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps the only reason that cats can’t fly is because no one has ever bothered trying. Maybe I could be the first cat to fly. I could soar above the trees, swoop across mountains, and even fly to the moon. I sat up on my hind legs and flapped my front paws. I didn’t move off the ground.

“Faster!” cried Bobin.

I flapped faster.

“Faster!”

I flapped even faster.

“Faster!!”

“Look at stupid Adrian trying to fly,” came the irritating gruff voice of Brutus from across the fence.

I was too embarrassed to reply. I simply began washing my face as if that’s what I had intended doing all along.

“Don’t talk to Adrian like that,” said Bobin.

“What are you going to do about it, small fry?” growled Brutus.

“I’ll bash you,” chirped Bobin.

“You and whose army?” yelped Brutus.

Bobin flew out of the tree, hovered a few feet above Brutus and pooed straight into his right eye. Shrieking with pain and humiliation, Brutus rushed indoors to tell his humans what had happened.

I like Bobin!

 



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If you like my secret diary please read my book - 'The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat' . It is available as a hard-back or as an ebook.

 

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Philosophy for Cats

Philosophy for Cats is a collection of wit and wisdom from the greatest cat philosophers that ever skulked our planet. From renowned thinkers of the past such as Catfuscious and Cuddles Darwin to modern philosophers such as Miss Fluffy and Snowball, this little book is crammed to the tip of its whiskers with gems of knowledge. Whether you are a cat, a human or indeed a member of any other species, you will benefit greatly from reading the thoughts of Catkind’s most eminent intellectuals. So read on and prepare to be amazed and amused at this fascinating insight into the lives of cats.

Extracts:
The pessimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half empty. The optimistic cat sees the bowl of cream as being half full. The wise cat sees the bowl and eats the cream.
- M. T. D’Lemma, 1908

I overheard my human say, “You are what you eat”. This is very worrying, for today I’ve eaten three mice and four frogs.
- Anx Hiety, 2011

I meow therefore I am.
I sleep therefore I am happy.
I purr therefore I am adored.
- René Descats, 1666

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Philosophy for Cats
My human, Stuart, asked me to tell you all that he writes books (they are very good but don't tell him I said so) One of his books is a fantasy novel for boys and girls - it is called Medusa Island. Have a look!!!

 

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Medusa Island

 
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