My Secret Diary

 

8th January

Lucky has a problem and needs my help. Again! His humans have brought a bird into the house, a parrot called Polly. This contravenes several of the ‘Cat Commandments for Humans’ that date back to Ancient Egyptian times:

 

  • Thou shalt worship only Cats.
  • Thou shalt not serve any animals except Cats.
  • Thou shalt not bring any animal into a Cat’s home - unless it is food for the Cat.

 

Humans are so much less devout than they used to be. But Lucky hasn’t trained his humans properly so he can’t really complain too much when they do something stupid. Imagine the indignity of having to share a house with a bird! To make matters worse the parrot sits on its perch and repeatedly squawks, “Arrrrr, me hearties, who’s a pretty little pussy?”

I told Lucky to take immediate action and advised him to knock over the perch, grab Polly by the beak and throw her out the window. That would teach the parrot and his humans a lesson!

(Personally I would have eaten the pesky thing but Lucky has had a strict moral upbringing and never kills any creature that can impersonate his humans.)



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